Wednesday, June 18, 2008

And Now...An Update

From Things 1101 Through 1125 That Mr. Welch is not allowed to do in a roleplaying game:

1101. I will not cut the vault guards in on the haul instead of fighting them.

1103. Just because I was paid in advance doesn’t mean I can let the incompetent expedition leader die.

1104. There is a limit to how much innuendo I can fit into one combat round.

1107. I will not attempt to clear out the dungeon using only Bangalore torpedoes.

1108. Picking his pocket means more than just turning him upside down and shaking him vigorously.

1113. I will not shoot vampires in the chest with a large pistol just so they have to explain the embarrassing sucking chest wound.

1114. I will not take a phobia of anything that doesn’t exist in the game world.

1117. Can’t strangle a werewolf with a roll of Kodak film, no matter what we all know it’s made out of.

1118. In the middle of a black ops I will not use up all the claymores just because I don’t want to take them back with me.

1119. I cannot have my mercy surgically removed.

1120. Even if I’m in charge I can’t order the Assault Lance to perform West Side Story dance routines.

1123. In the middle of a black ops I can’t call my girlfriend to remind her to pick up some Chinese on her way home.

1124. I will leave out mating rituals when presenting a cultural exchange with diplomatic ambassadors.

1125. Letting the Red Shirt guard the plane is really frowned upon as it doesn’t leave anybody to sacrifice to the Shoggoths.


1 comment:

HTRN said...

I would add "One shotting a Tarrasque tends to pissoff the DM after he's worked several weeks on the game"

Served him right for letting the players roll up their own caracters without supervision, seeing as how most of us either occasionally DMed, or had the DM sourcebooks and were ruleslawyers at heart.