Tuesday, August 04, 2015

Somewhere in Space, Time, and Stereo

If a mere human could perceive this being it would appear to be a giant bat like entity with alien features and if that human could hear the name it would sound like Skippy.

And the being truly hated to be called Skippy.

And now it this point in space and time it would appear to be speaking to another being like itself.

“Les, we need to talk.”

The other being turned to reply.

“I’m not Les--I’m The Other Les.”

Skippy winced and replied in annoyance.

“I know that,” it said. “but we still need to talk.”

“What about?”

“It’s this new timeline of yours, The Committee was very clear that you were to do no more displacements.”

“It’s not a displacement--it’s a duplication.”


“On the original timeline the Resolution will arrive at the intended destination and The Old Man will see what had happened to the Earth as a result of the Yellowstone Eruption and then expire. Then the ship’s company will bury him on the grounds of the old Fort Snelling National Cemetery with full military honors and with a printed American flag–The End.”

“What?” Said Skippy. “Why not bury him at the Arlington National Cemetery?”

“The Old Man is from the Twin Cities, it’s a Minnesota thing.”

To a solidly material being it would appear that Skippy had paused to think for a moment before speaking again.

“What The Committee is really upset about is that you didn’t finish your last project.”

“It was spinning out of control,” said The Other Les. “I didn’t expect the people in Tienanmen Square to lynch Chairman Mao.”

“And what did you expect?” Said Skippy, “The Spanish Inquisition?”

As if on cue the familiar red-clad figures of Cardinals Ximenez, Biggles, and Fang appeared at that point of space-time.

Skippy spun suddenly and shouted at them.


“Right...” Said Ximenez and they vanished just as suddenly.

Skippy was annoyed to no end. Ever since the Spanish Inquisition Sketch had been broadcast the three characters were popping up all over time and space. It was as if they were now an inherent component of space and time.

Skippy then returned to the matter at the immediate manipulator appendage.

“So you didn’t expect Mao to be lynched?”

“No,” said The Other Les, “the people loved him.”

Skippy replied.

“Les, what you have to remember is that totalitarian states operate on the principle of Doublethink--Freedom is Slavery, War is Peace, and so on--when the principle of Doublethink is applied to the concept of Love what comes out is Hate. And given what that terminal orifice did to the Chinese people it would have to be pure unalloyed hate.”

The Other Les nodded.

“Okay, I can see that.”

Skippy then spoke again.

“And the other thing The committee is upset about is the reboot of your current project--why?”

The Other Les replied.

“It’s easier to write from an objective perspective and I missed the opportunity to show an interesting meeting between historic figures.”

Who?” Said Skippy. “George Orwell and Ayn Rand?”

For a moment The Other Les stared out into the yet to be defined dimensions of time and space.

No, no, NO!” Skippy shouted. “DON”T YOU DARE!”

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