And Now...

The number of things that Mr. Welch cannot do in a role playing game is now up to 850:

827. My battlemech does not play Dixie every time I hit the jump jets.

829. Despite the song's claim, a pelvic thrust does not cause Sanity loss.

833. Overrunning a larger army is not a glorious victory if it happened at 3AM and they were still in bed.

Except in Texas when you overrun the Mexican Army at siesta time.

To continue:

837. Even if the rules allow it, I can't take the 1st Armored Division as an ally.

839. In the middle of a black ops no inserting a memo into the target's computer mandating 'clothing optional Mondays'.

842. When handed Dieties and Demigods and told to pick a god for my druid, I will skip right by the Cthulhu Mythos.

845. It's not a good idea to taunt Greek heroes with "Who's your daddy?"

Don't do this to Uncle Dennie, either...

To continue:

849. The FBI tends to notice when people buy several miles of hamster tubing at once.

850. Doesn't matter how practical, we aren't reanimating the dead dragon and having him haul that horde back for us.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled reality.
_